In this post, I especially want to speak to you, to you who were raised in toxic spirituality, in a conservative religious group, in a cult, in a fundamentalist movement, and who one day decided to leave this milieu and take your freedom.
You have had the courage to make this decision, but it is more than likely that somewhere deep inside you is a slight remnant of guilt, a vague doubt that speaks deep inside you in a tiny, barely audible voice.
I dare say that because I heard that voice myself and I know it well, and I have known many people in your situation.
And there comes a day when this inner voice begins to speak louder: during the trials of life, during the midlife crisis, during a divorce, when we face frustrations and disappointments. Then this voice turns into anguish, into tension, and you start to wonder if it is not god who punishes you, if whatever difficult situation you live is not a consequence of your choice to take your freedom in hands, if it is not fate that speaks to you ... and there comes a temptation to return to the religion of your childhood! And for those who give in to this temptation, the relief is immediate: the anxiety subsides, the tension subsides ... for a time.
But let me tell you: this relief is misleading. The voice you obey is that of your inner critic. She is tyrannical and misleading. It robs you of a true spiritual experience, and of the joy, confidence, freedom, authentic peace that comes with it. It makes you victims, and also servants, of toxic spirituality.
You deserve better, and those you love too! Do not allow yourself to be deprived of your freedom. Do not allow yourself to be deprived of an open, free, joyful spirituality. Living a healthy human experience shuts down this voice, and gives you the ability to recalibrate your inner compass, which toxic spirituality had totally messed up.
To go deeper into this subject, watch these two ressources:
- My book about toxic spirituality: ‘Toxic Jesus, my journey from holy shit to spiritual healing'
- My online course: ‘Heal Your Spiritual Life'